I’ve read about the financial, mental and emotional tolls of IVF. The burden it puts on marriage, relationships- it’s all consuming force that becomes the new normal. What I haven’t heard about is the professional dwarf-ism that occurs when cycle after cycle you wait with baited breath for “good news” that makes sticking with a sucky job- for lack of a better word- makes it all worth it.
I’m at a point in my career and company that if I were not actively trying to have a child, I would be looking for a new job with more challenges and areas for growth. My current organization served its purpose professionally and now it is time to move on.
Ha! Moving on to what? While professional growth has always been a priority for me, it’s time for my professional life to serve as a means to an end.
Having been with my organization for over 5+ years I have secured a reputation for my quality of work and work ethic. Getting into the office late after a doctors appointment isn’t questioned or cause concern. I’ve acquired a vast amount vacation and sick days that allows me to be generous with my self and the time off needed when days get hard and procedures need to be done. And as much as I may gripe, I have an insurance plan that is quite IVF friendly.
Given all those variables, my professional growth is on hold. Churning thru the days dealing with mundane bs and the prospects of no growth just so that I can– have a family.
This time of year becomes magical. I embrace everything holiday- from songs to decor to movies. I own snowflake booties to wear in the house and recently got a holiday hat.
I would like to be less reactive. While googling an image for today’s post I came across many memes and quotes that suggested that the opposite of reactive is proactive…That is true in many cases except when dealing with relationships. I can not consistently anticipate the abnormal actions of others and thereby proactively have a plan as to how to deal with them.
The first snow of the season in NYC. It’s always too soon, messy and accompanied by much sighing. I left work early to avoid the rush hour commute for fear of The train tracks freezing and signals losing power. However today as I trudged my way to the train I had a revelation….
As I try to build this blog, I’m forced to reconcile my need for perfection with that of execution. I have spent an endless amount of time creating the perfect layout, color scheme, font size, editorial calendar and even began a new Instagram to “advertise” this up and coming blog. I have put in work in all areas except writing and yet the very reason I am in this space is due to my love of writing.
So, Now I have 4 Names... 